People Who Live in Green Houses

I’ll be honest here... until last year I had little, nay NO interest in houseplants. I always felt the idea of constraining plants in decorative pots and then subjecting them to completely unsuitable conditions – hot, dark corners with a bone-dry atmosphere – was completely against my gardening religion. 

The temptation to display tender and beautiful plants in trendy pots on the sideboard was not enough
to convert me into a houseplant fan and even the impressive array of houseplant goodies in shops like Ikea failed to seduce me.  However, now that I’m one of thousands of frustrated people who do not have a garden to call their own, I have reconsidered my stance and am currently creating a garden on the inside. I now even have Orchids blooming amongst my toothbrushes!

The thing about sharing your living space with plants is that the very many positives far outweigh the very few (and decidedly trivial) downsides. Yes, you will have to find someone to water your charges when you go on holiday, but why wouldn’t you want to share your home with living things that pump out life-giving oxygen and filter out nasty volatile organic compounds? Not sure if they’re any good against the dreaded Coronavirus – but I’ll claim they are if it helps promote their popularity!

I’m quickly finding that my little collection of houseplants, Cacti, Jasmines, and various Orchids, are now a part of the normal household regime and get fed and watered nearly as often as Ripley the hound dog. They even get petted now and again, although I steer well clear of the cacti! 

And it’s obvious that they all relish this cossetted lifestyle as they are all growing like weeds. That’s the other thing with house plants – whilst they don’t need walkies like your canine pets, they will quickly show their ‘moods’ by either looking shiny and healthy with loads of amazing flowers – or start shedding foliage, wilting or, in the worst-case scenario, turning turtle. It’s a known fact that ‘caring’ for plants in the home can really help human owners who suffer from stress and anxiety – and even I (the sanest person I know...) have been known to have a chat with my African Violets when my latest bank statement arrives through the letterbox!

Our love for house plants is nothing new – the Victorians were obsessed with house plants and they built elaborate hot houses and conservatories, which they quickly filled with exotica from all over the world. But they were probably best known for their love of

Aspidistras – a relatively unattractive foliage plant but one that managed to survive the strictures of dark, cold parlours with very little care and attention. 

Families would proudly display huge great pots of these plants, no doubt handed down like a piece of Chippendale from a redoubtable relative, but luckily for Aspidistras, they have now been superseded by a plethora of more attractive foliage plants that will grow quite happily in similar shady spots in the house. These include Calathea’s, Dracaena’s, and Chlorophytums, but my two favourites (and not just because of their names!) are the Cheese Plant, Monstera Deliciosa and Mother-in-Law’s Tongue, Sanseviera.

A fun way to grow house plants is as little communities and most garden centres now sell small plants that are perfect for this. Arranged in trendy terracotta pots or even inside glass terrariums that can be kept on a windowsill (provided it’s not south-facing or above a radiator), you can make your own miniature garden. I know it’s not quite the same as the real thing, but at least you won’t have lawns to mow and borders to weed. Probably the worst you can expect is a bit of wilting – but then we all suffer from that now and then!